Email your question in complete confidence to questions midlifebachelor. After we had been out a few times, things started getting pretty hot and heavy at her place, and she revealed to me that she had recovered from breast cancer and had reconstructive surgery I honestly didn't let it bother me since she still had breasts, they looked good enough to me, and she was attractive to me otherwise. On our next date which she initiated, we went back to her house and decided to have sex. However, as I tried to penetrate her, she was way too tight to get in.
Linda Dackman was 34 when she had a mastectomy. She had no way to find help as a single woman looking for a relationship, wanting to know when and how to tell about her mastectomy and her disease. She wrote the book Up Front: Sex and the Post-Mastectomy Woman , a personal account of how she coped with these problems unfortunately out of print, but worth tracking down in a library or a used book store. Each time she met someone new, Linda had to struggle with when and how to tell, and then how to behave in intimate situations. In the beginning, she would blurt out her history almost immediately, frightening herself and her date. Gradually she got to a point where she was able to wait till the third or fourth meeting and discuss it without upsetting herself or her companion.
The first guy I had sex with after cancer was a beautiful, tattooed philosopher. My relationship of three years had just crashed. So when I met this man at a bar on a rare night out with a girlfriend, I was out of practice; my sexuality was asleep.
It is only when something like cancer strikes that people realize the true value of so many things they take for granted. An active social life, for instance. And yet when someone survives the disease, it is all the more reason to live and love fully. Unfortunately dating a cancer survivor is generally seen as fraught with complexities, even though there may not always be reason to be worried; so if you have met someone who happens to have beaten back this monster, go ahead armed with the following tips of dating a cancer survivor. Be informed If you are dating a cancer survivor, it would help to know right from the start what this entails.